Tuesday, August 12, 2003

THE NUDE HIKER
There's a guy walking across England in the nude. His course will cover 847 miles, with nothing but a rucksack to cover his naked upper back, and everything else is exposed to the sun, wind, rain and view.

Why doesn't he earn some money through advertising products while he is doing this, such as taking these penis enlargement pills they tout through SPAM email each day, and by the time he has covered the whole 847 miles, he'd have something to show for it. Well, that is, if the pills actually work. Maybe, like Pinocchio's nose, it'll continue to grow. However, I would strongly recommend that he not take Viagara at the same time, otherwise he'll have to hang an English flag from it to disguise it.

Just imagine thousands of English men saluting him as he marches by. Leapin' Lizards, Sandy, but I don't mean any disrespect to their flag.

His name is Steve Gough, and he is 44 years old. Also, he's been arrested 8 times so far, and assaulted once by an irate citizen, resulting in four stitches in his head (before all the sawdust leaked out). Back in the 30's, someone would have used a BB gun on his private parts to dissuade him from going any further.

He claims to be a man of independent thought and action. How shall we class him? As a Five-Star Nut-case? He's certainly not a flasher, since he has no coat to open. If children come along, I'm certain he's exposing himself to them. How much latitude do you give to someone like this?

He says, "Most people say, 'Good idea, mate.' They seem to be couples or single people." Tell me, is there any other kind besides these?

One more fact, he's unemployed. Do you wonder why? Coming in to work every day, it might not be considered sexual harrassment, but assexual embarrassment.

They should cut off (no, no, not that) his benefits and then he'd have to rethink this whole thing out (no pun intended), perhaps even return to work. I think he should at least wear a necktie around his neck or....

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